It's funny because its true

This is for anyone who has lived in or near L.A. It made me laugh, so I'm passing it on to you! Enjoy.




You must first learn to pronounce the city name L.A. ; it is "L" "A" and not "la" like in the Sound of Music.

All freeways are referred to as "The 405" or "The 10" regardless of it being referred to as I-10 in other states.The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. and Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday, just after noon unless it is a three day weekend and then it begins sometime Wednesday evening.

The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. except on the 91, the 105 or the 110, where your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy."

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere, L.A. has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Malibu , SUV-driving, cell-phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55 - 65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped-off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you will be shot. If you actually stop at a yellow light you will be rear ended, cussed out, and probably shot. Never honk at anyone. EVER. Seriously, it's another offense that can get you shot.

Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L.A. and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. Map Quest does not work here - none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they go, and the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night.

If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."Do not try to estimate travel time-- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on a Monday morning.

And finally, why is the L.A. Freeway called "the 405"? Because no matter where or when you are traveling on it, it takes 4 or 5 hours to reach your final destination from wherever you are. Make sure you have a small ice chest filled with snacks and drinks. L.A. is a desert and getting stuck on the 405 can result in dehydration or possible starvation if you are not prepared.