Bipolar disorder

Soon after I was married it became quite clear to me that my husband was a very angry and depressed person. It took him the first 5 years of our marriage to admit that he may have a problem, and then get him to the doctor. He was prescribed Zoloft for the depression and anger by his PCP and he had an almost immediate turn around in behavior. It was like a whole new Joe and I couldn't be happier. Unfortunately, lately, he seems to be back to his old self even though he is taking the maximum amount of medication aloud.

After his last episode, a dramatic mood swing from out of the blue, I took some advise and looked up Bipolar disorder. From what I read, I believe that Joe has this disorder. The Zoloft is not enough on it's own to treat the disorder and he needs to go back to the doctor. I am hoping that he will go without a fight and that it will not take 5 years like it did the last time.

One of the statistics I read about people that have this disorder is that the divorce rate is very high. Joe and I have been through a lot over the years and we have been able to survive somehow. I am thankful that I have a personal relationship with Jesus and that no matter what, I can turn to him. I am thankful for the Bible that guides me, that he provides every answer that I need, including the letters from Paul to the Corinthians that I refer to every time I just want to run! I am thankful for the Psalmist, and for their constant reminders of Gods love, mercy, and hope and at the same time reassured me that it was O.K. to lament and give glory and praise to God. I am thankful for stories of people like David who God did great things through even though he was a nobody, and women like Esther. I am thankful for my small group made up all of women whom are married, but spiritually single and hold each other up.

I refuse to be a statistic just because of this hurdle. I know that we can get through this and that God calls me to ,even when I just want to give up. I am thankful that God does not give me anything that I cannot handle and I pray that God will use me, a nobody, for something great one day, even if it just to share my struggles with someone else that may be dealing with the same thing.