Butterflies part 2

We got to let our butterflies go today. It was such a fun experience. Here are some pics. Enjoy!

Whirl wind

Today I am 29 and I am thinking about the last 10 years of my life. It has truly been a whirl wind. 10 years ago, I met Joe while I was still in college. We were engaged on my 21st birthday and married 6 months later. I had Zachary and bought my first house when I was 23. A year later, we sold our house and bought our second home in Hesperia. Shortly afterward, Katie came along. We have moved so many times between then and now and lived all along the 15 freeway between San Diego and Las Vegas! Now, I am in my last year of my 20's with a 5 year old(on Friday!) and a 6 year old. Although I would not trade the last 10 years for anything, I am hoping that my 30's move at a slower pace and the bumps in the road are fewer.

Good news

There was an article in the Ely times last week that I forgot to share. It is very good news for our family. Take some time to click on the link and check it out! The article is about the mine that Joe is working for.
The Ely Times - elynews.com :: News: Mine to operate for at least seven more years

Joes Job

Joe has been working for a copper mine in Ely, Nevada since February under a temp agency during the 3 month probationary period. He got his permanent hire date today and a raise so I am very excited. It is all working out and coming together. Now to find a place to stay up there...

Butterflies

I ordered a butterfly sanctuary for my daughter Katie as a little bit of home science since she is not currently in preschool. Our caterpillars arrived a couple of weeks ago and we watched them eat and grow and grow. This weekend they shed their skin to reveal their beautiful chrysalis. They are specked with gold and absolutely gorgeous. The whole thing is an amazing process and I myself spent hours staring into the little container. To me it's just another example of how amazing our God is. I can't wait to see them after they have morphed into butterflies and observe them for a few days before we let them go.

Bipolar disorder

Soon after I was married it became quite clear to me that my husband was a very angry and depressed person. It took him the first 5 years of our marriage to admit that he may have a problem, and then get him to the doctor. He was prescribed Zoloft for the depression and anger by his PCP and he had an almost immediate turn around in behavior. It was like a whole new Joe and I couldn't be happier. Unfortunately, lately, he seems to be back to his old self even though he is taking the maximum amount of medication aloud.

After his last episode, a dramatic mood swing from out of the blue, I took some advise and looked up Bipolar disorder. From what I read, I believe that Joe has this disorder. The Zoloft is not enough on it's own to treat the disorder and he needs to go back to the doctor. I am hoping that he will go without a fight and that it will not take 5 years like it did the last time.

One of the statistics I read about people that have this disorder is that the divorce rate is very high. Joe and I have been through a lot over the years and we have been able to survive somehow. I am thankful that I have a personal relationship with Jesus and that no matter what, I can turn to him. I am thankful for the Bible that guides me, that he provides every answer that I need, including the letters from Paul to the Corinthians that I refer to every time I just want to run! I am thankful for the Psalmist, and for their constant reminders of Gods love, mercy, and hope and at the same time reassured me that it was O.K. to lament and give glory and praise to God. I am thankful for stories of people like David who God did great things through even though he was a nobody, and women like Esther. I am thankful for my small group made up all of women whom are married, but spiritually single and hold each other up.

I refuse to be a statistic just because of this hurdle. I know that we can get through this and that God calls me to ,even when I just want to give up. I am thankful that God does not give me anything that I cannot handle and I pray that God will use me, a nobody, for something great one day, even if it just to share my struggles with someone else that may be dealing with the same thing.

The invisible mom

I got an email today with a wonderful story and I just wanted to share it with any other moms out there. I do not know who the author is, but here it is:


It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lackof response, the way one of the kids will walk intothe room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken tothe store. Inside I'm thinking,'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; noone can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, orsweeping the floor, or even standing onmy head in the corner, because no one can see me atall. I'm invisible; 'The Invisible Mom.'Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Canyou fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even ahuman being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?'I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is theDisney Channel?' I'm a car to order,'Right around 5:30, please.'I was certain that these were the hands that once heldbooks and the eyes that studied history and the mindthat graduated summa cum laude -but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter,never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, andshe's gone!One night, a group of us were having dinner,celebrating the return of a friend from England.Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, andshe was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.I was sitting there, looking around at the others allput together so well. It was hard not to compare andfeel sorry for myself as I looked down at myout-of-style dress; it was theonly thing I could find that was clean. My unwashedhair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid Icould actually smell peanut butter init. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turnedto me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'Ibrought you this.' It was a book on the greatcathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactlysure why she'd given it to me until I read herinscription:'To Charlotte,with admiration for the greatness ofwhat you are building when no one sees.'In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - thebook. And I would discover what would become for me,four life-changing truths, after which I could patternmy work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals- we have no record of their names. These buildersgave their whole lives for a work they would never seefinished. They made great sacrifices and expected nocredit. Thepassion of their building was fueled by their faiththat the eyes of God saw everything.A legendary story in the book told of a rich man whocame to visit the cathedral while it was being built,and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the insideof a beam. He was puzzledand asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much timecarving that bird into a beam that will be covered bythe roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workmanreplied, 'Because God sees.'I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall intoplace. It was almost as if I heard God whispering tome, 'I see you, Charlotte. I seethe sacrifices you make every day, even when no onearound you does. No act of kindness you've done, nosequin you've sewn on, no cupcakeyou've baked, is too small for me to notice and smileover. You are building a great cathedral, but youcan't see right now what it will become.'At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction.But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It isthe cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness.It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. Ikeep the right perspective when I see myself as agreat builder. As one of the people who show up at ajob that they will never see finished, to work onsomething that their name will never be on. The writerof the book went so far as to say that no cathedralscould ever be built in our lifetime because there areso few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.When I really think about it, I don't want my son totell the friend he's bringing home from college forThanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning andbakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkeyfor three hours and presses all the linens for thetable.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or amonument to myself. I just want him to want to comehome. And then, if there is anything more to say tohis friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. Wecannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day,it is very possible that the world will marvel, notonly at what we have built, but at the beauty that hasbeen added to the world by the sacrifices of invisiblewomen. Great Job, MOM!

LOL

So my husband likes a certain brand of tooth brush because it is a little bigger than the normal size toothbrush. They stopped carrying it about a year ago and it really actually upset him. I was just wandering through Walgreens and came across the biggest toothbrush I have ever seen. The thing looks like it was made for a giant. I was literally laughing out load in the store when I saw it so hard that I had tears rolling down my face. I bought it as a joke and showed it to Joe laughing hysterically. He loves it! He's going to use it as his new toothbrush. I am going to add a picture, but I don't think a photo will do it justice. It was a good laugh for me though.

Homecoming

Joe is home for the next 6 days! Yeah. Man I missed him.

running out of ideas!!!

This year I was forced to pull my daughter out of preschool because I simply couldn't afford it anymore. She has been at home with me and I have been doing our own version of preschool here at the house. It seems like the time when we are focused on learning goes by much to quickly. We do an art project at least once a day, go to the library and the park a few times a week, but I still feel like she is watching TV a lot. She also wants me to play ALL the time. I don't mind playing, but I just can't do it 24/7. I know that she is bored at home, but I am running out of ideas. I am only in California for a short time and haven't taken the time to find a church or a playgroup and I think that has added to the problem significantly. It is just Katie and mommy from 7:30 to 2:30 everyday without any other contact, but because we are leaving so soon, the effort to find friends for her and myself seems like a waste. I just wish I could come up with a few more FREE activities because we are both going CRAZY here!!!! I am looking forward to our butterfly project coming up next week. We ordered caterpillars and will get to feed them, watch them make cocoons and turn into butterflies. That will be fun for both of us and a great learning experience too.

STILL NOT SMOKING!! YEAH!!

Quiting smoking sucks!!!!!!